Trying....

It seems like a lot of people I know are trying. Trying to have a baby, trying to find a better job, trying to find the perfect mate, etc. Me, I'm trying to change my lifestyle a bit. I hate the word "busy," and I hate the feeling of "busy" even more. I guess it's because to me, busy doesn't mean "occupied," as much as it means "overwhelmed." I love having things to do. But let's face it: I ALWAYS have things to do, and if I don't, I can come up with something. I am rarely bored. And it seems that for the last few years, I've been doing less of the things that I want to do for me, for fun, and more things that people ask me to do.
This is not a terrible thing. After all, I could always just say no. It's not as if I'm being asked to do unspeakably difficult things. In fact, they're usually fun/interesting things. And I know that lots of people are far busier than I am. But I've had a sampling of an easier, more relaxed life, and I want more. I want to be able to go home in the evening and read a book, or watch tv, or *gasp* cook my own proper dinner. Or, better yet, cook dinner, watch a bit of tv, then read a book, all in the same evening. ...heaven. I think it might even help me to have more energy for work, and for the little side projects that I want to do for myself.
So I've been trying to slowly extract myself from obligations that could easily be handled by someone else. It hasn't been easy. Not because I feel that I'm the only one able to do it, but because so often it just seems easier to just shut up and do it already than to find someone else and convince them that they should do it.
Another happy side effect of having less that I feel obligated to do is that I could stop having that panicky feeling of having forgotten something important that I was supposed to be doing. I can't tell you how many times that's happened in the last few months. I'm not even sure I could count that high.
So wish me luck, to be able to find a bit more sanity, and to make the time to do the things that I want to do.

In other news, I've just accepted a part-time job as a storyteller/guide on a ghost tour.
What's that definition of insanity, again?