Black and Bleu

Once in a while, actually more like once a month or so, I get a massive craving for BEEF. I want BURGER, char-grilled, on a bun, with lettuce and tomato and not much else. There can be no substitutes. Veggie-, turkey-, or tofu-burgers Will Not Cut It.

This past Monday night, as I was leading a groups of people around the downtown area for about three hours, I kept walking through the exhaust scents coming from the various restaurants. And it seemed that without exception, they were cooking Hamburgers.

So after my tours, I went out in search of Meat. By that time it was late and all of the burgers and burger chefs had gone home, but would I be interested in a lovely chicken BBQ something? Perhaps some buffalo shrimp? Lovely options, and on any other day I would have jumped at them. And since Hamburger was not an option, I did jump at them, thinking maybe that would do. Bad idea. They did nothing to satisfy the craving - only made it worse.

Then lunchtime came, and a good friend offered me some steak tips. Good Choice, I thought, and looking forward to that nice now-you've-made-me-happy feeling that my stomach gives me when I've finally managed to do something right, I dug right in.

"Close, but no burger," came the reply from my stomach, but it would have to suffice. I had things to do. Then last night, I got everything done and finished by around 7pm and decided to reward myself with a piece of pizza from the local by-the-slice, NY-Style place downtown. As I was headed for the nice greasy slices with pepperoni, bacon, and love baked right in, I was stopped cold by the scent of red meat. Hmmm, decisions. Do I stick with the original plan, or do some improvising? One look at the "cash-only, please" sign in the window of the pizza joint told me that mama would get to satisfy her heart's desire.

I headed across the street and down the block a bit to a local restaurant with high ceilings and brew vats inside, and pulled out the menu. When what do my wand'ring eyes should appear, but a big fat burger with bacon and bleu cheese, my dear. I quickly ordered, and tried to be patient while waiting for it to be cooked just so, headed back with my styro-wrapped bit of heaven and sat down in air-conditioned comfort to enjoy.

And enjoy I did. I don't know who thought up the idea of bleu cheese and bacon on top of a nice, 3/4 inch thick lightly blackened patty of ground beef, but they should be given a supermodel or a castle in the south of France, or whatever their beautiful heart desires. I took one bite into that burger and every cell in my body cried out in unison, "ohhhhellyesssss!" I tried cutting it in half, so I could enjoy the rest of it later. But I couldn't wait. I had to have to whole thing.

I know, meat is murder. But it's tasty, tasty murder.